Silly
It's been a while. I'm still struggling to get a job and to motivate myself especially with getting out of the house. I wish the people running this province didn't suck (and that the internet at large didn't suck, too.)
BUT not all is bad. I'm trying to wean myself off social media. I reconnected with a friend irl. I found that there's LGBT community stuff nearby- I'm getting a bus card to make it less of a chore to leave the house (I refuse to learn to drive when we have perfectly good public transit), and I went to a Palestine supporting event in my area :) it was a super fun time and I'm glad I went. I want to go to more things! Less sitting at home endlessly scrolling! I want to take my dolls out for fun and photoshoots, especially.
I've also started going to therapy. It's a little hard and I've almost cried several times- showing feelings is terrifying and I know it's better to let it out, but... The habits you develop over your upbringing are hard to kick. Like the icky feeling that crying in front of anyone is a no-no. And that taking up any space at all in any way is wrong. Am I traumatized? I don't even know. Do I have the tism? literally everyone i know including the therapist thinks so, lmao
Also, I don't think Scotland's a safe place anymore for people like me, which is a real shame. Fuck you, brexit and JKR. There's a special place in hell for all of you.
However, I don't feel so bad about my own area anymore. There's more here than I ever allowed myself to know, and I want to see more of it. Also very proud of my country for kicking far right losers out of any chance of public space... Now more than ever, it's important who you give a voice to and what their motives are.
BTW, holy hell, fuck mastercard and visa and the fucking christofascist fucks that pushed them to determine that games deserve to be censored. What the fuck is this, we back in the hays code days? FUCK OFF. please call them and wring them out like a soggy towel over suppressing your rigjts and freedoms to buy shit even if it contains nudity. Tell them they might as well ban people from buying the bible cause GASP someone gets tortured and dies in it!! can't have that!
I'm too tired for this puritanical bullshit man just let people buy what they want with their money, even if you don't agree with it. that's what freedom fucking is. Don't like it? then stop fucking claiming to care about personal freedoms
anyway thank you for listening to my stream of consciousness rant... Canada may be on fire and I'm sweaty as hell but we can still work together to make life a little better for all of us. I hope
Also bito says beeb